He splinted the wrong ankle. He told me i fractured my right angle, when really, neither of my ankles are really fractured. My left ankle is now surrounded by a gigantic moon boot and my right has a sexy aircast on it, yes, that’s right, it’s sexy. Anyone who tells you injuries aren’t sexy is lying through their teeth. Women crave cripples.

So lying on this bed, staring at the blinded window, i’ve had much time to reflect on the past two weeks. The roadtrip has been one of the best experiences i have had in these two decades of anaerobic respiration. I had the opportunity to see great western cities and the canyons and mountains that put all human achievements to shame. Climbing and hiking around the canyons and national parks dragged me into a sense of timelessness. It placed me outside of time, whether it was 2006 or 17 BC, i wouldn’t know. These natural treasures are the gods of our time, the giants, and until we destroy them to put in a starbucks megaplex, we have some hope yet. These titans are what anchor us to the planet, and it’s history. When i was climbing those rocks, i realized how much more powerful they are than us. The rock shook me off like a fucking wet dog, and as i looked down and watched the earth come up to meet me, i thought, “damnit.” I hit the ground like a sack of wet flesh and bones, colliding into scattered rocks and wet sand. Then i laughed. It was one of those sick, desperate laughs, bordering on tears and screams of anguish-tinged insanity, but a laugh nonetheless. Then i “no, no, no, no, no, no, no!”-ed and then i said “ow.” I was lucky, because i had just fallen off a twenty foot cliff, slammed into a bunch of rocks, and somehow avoided dying or refucking up my back. But the laughing came from two things, one was just a nervousness that bordered on awkwardness, lying on the ground like a chewed up ragdoll, I stepped outside myself in order to survey what i had become, and you know what? It was funny, in a pathetic sort of way. The way my parents laughed at me when i was tyke and i fell in the toilet, screaming “HELP!” Embarassing. But the other thing i did, was check my tattoo, the third thing i did after touching my head and wiggling all my little piggies (they all wiggled fine, which was a relief.) Not the phoenix, not the ghostys, and not the man sitting on the tree stump. No. I rolled up my left t-shirt sleeve to reveal a retarded looking shark-sasquatch eating a crude trailer with stick figures flying superheroesque around them. It was unscathed. But just looking at that fucking abomination of a skin augmentation made me laugh and smile as blood tricked down my cheek. This is/was the last time i will write about the incident of my injuries.

I’m babbling, but what else can i do with two dysfunctional ankles and a belly full of pills? I dreamed last night, of the roadtrip crew, floating down a river on a raft. We were attempting to escape a flooding California, ironically escaping to a safe, non-flooding New Orleans. We made it in an hour. I tried peeing off the raft and almost fell in. I don’t know what to make of this dream, but i woke up having to pee. * I really miss being on the roadtrip and i know the 3rd leg of that bastard would have been incredible, but i value the time i was able to spend on it. * I lie back and listen to The Great Lakes Myth Society’s “Isabella County, 1992″ and try to tear up, but the drugs just make the sound all drowny. It’s a beautiful song, and props to Ethan for introducing me to this band. They create some of the most beautiful, quasi-timeless sound that contemporary music has to offer. They were the perfect auditory compainons on this fine roadtrip, the trip that i had to abandon prematurely. Check out the song and think about driving along the coast at sunset, cause that’s when it sounds the best, or maybe it would sound the best sailing on ship to Ireland, drinking whiskey. I’m not sure tho, im austrian, i think.

Anyway, i gotta go limp to the bathroom, the most adventure i get from day to day. I wish the roadtrippers the best of luck, and everyone, an injury-free summer

sorry to make you read this, im just bored. check out the song, you’ll feel that this was all worth it.


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