what the fuck is going on

May 25th, 2006

im in LA, and im dreading what the woman nextdoor is gonna play from her stereo.
yesterday we had to sit through the entire Lou Bega album, you know, Mambo # 5?
well, that motherfucker has like, 12 different mambos, and they all suck. they suck even more at high volume, since the woman next door has most certainly misplaced her hearing aid. I’ve been trying to shake that terrible feeling that infected my brain the past couple of days. The feeling was hoplessness and sadness. It came from Vegas. SIN CITY some have called it and I, for one, do not think it lives up to its name. If SIN CITY means old shrivs mindlessly pushing blinking plastic buttons for hours on end, watching themselves dying in the reflection of the slot machines, then yes, SIN CITY it is. The people in las vegas are the dregs of society, and they are the epitome of a dying dream.

i embodied this sense of hoplessness. at 5am, after Eth, Sac, and Josh went to sleep, Jeremy and I decided to meander around the casinotel, when we stumbled upon the most awful thing i have ever experienced, GRAVEYARD BOWLING. It is just as terrible as it sounds. A dollar per person, plus shoe rental. Lane 38 had its charm, the dirty ashtray (which i proceeded to stub out my own 10 cigarettes), the adjacent bowler who looked too manly to be a woman, but had one too many x chromosomes to be a man, etc. Playing bowling at that hour is the worst thing a man can do to himself. It was a test of self that i wasn’t prepared to take. Is a man measured by the size of his pincount? i hope not, with a whopping 48 and a handfull of gutterballs. THe radio was no less helpful in returning me to sanity and stability. Songs like “Help Me Rhonda” and “Good Morning”, were taunting me, and laughing at my grave misfortune.
And after hearing Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual” for the fifth time, it’s difficult to not think about taking that heavy bowling ball and caving your own skull in.
and after the bowling is done, you can’t even keep the shoes.

anyway. im too tired to keep writing. enjoy yrselves. next stop. sanfran.

oh, and the in-n-out burger is fucking tasty.

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