Test Icicles…not testicles

February 6th, 2006

“For Screening Purposes Only” is what the obnoxiously lethargic hipster crowd has been missing: a good skull fucking. Its a pretty graphic way to begin a review but the crudely named Test Icicles do just that. For three lanky dudes from the UK, they make a fuck load of noise. Not since the Blood Brothers‘ “Burn Piano Island, Burn” have i heard an album i liked with enough shreiking and exploding that is shockingly palatable (to others). Ranging from low-fi rap to throat-scraping screams trapped in a tunnel of mutilated guitar riffs, these guys know how to make your ears bleed and your feet move. Although their tactics are a bit unconventional, they turn these sounds of terror into infectious punky-spazzy-hardcore-gameboy whatever. They will make you jump up and down, thrash around like a dying fish, and then make you slump over in ecstacy. The album opens with a song called “Your Biggest Mistake”, a howling spazrock bitchfest, in a good way. It’s a good tune. Some of the better songs on the album are the half-rap half-hardcore beast “Catch It!”, the dancy anthems “Scene Damage” & “Circle Square Triangle” and also (no clever introducing pseudoadjectives) “Boa Vs. Python”. There are a few moments on the album that exhibit less testicular fortitude than others but it doesn’t stop me from really enjoying this album. (If my rating system matters at all) I would totally give this album a 4 out of 5…just so they have room for improvement. Definitly give this album a listen and try to avoid:
1) murdering everyone in your vacinity and dancing on their corpses, or 2) just flipping out and writhing on the floor like an epileptic. But seriously, enjoy it while you are still young enough to appreciate a bunch of Britts screaming their heads off, rapping over a shitty drumkit, and tearing up a soundscape with tweaked distortion. (Play this shit really loud.)


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