After leaving Louisville this morning, (which I have nothing much to say about, except for the fact that it is a soulless city with very little character and structure…not as bad as New Orleans, but nowhere near as good as Nashville…and nothing really transpired there barring some semi-botched curry, a shitty hippy band, and a great used book store), we arrived in Petersburg, Kentucky, home of the Creation Museum. Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar with Creationism, it is essentially the belief in history according to the bible. They do not believe in the Darwin’s theory of evolution and the earth is only 50, 000 years old or something. They also believe that the Loch Ness Monster is the last remaining dinosaur, or as the bible refers to it, the Leviathan. Anyway, this trip somehow was formed around the desire to see this museum, so i guess, in a way, this is was to be the penultimate chapter of this trip.Now, take all the knowledge and science you have acquired and understood in yr life, put it all in a basket, and set the basket on fire, because any sense of rationality or intelligence is useless when you go on a tour of the Creation Museum! Too go my tour, clck here. (This is the second time I’ve tried to write this. The first time i was almost done and the computer froze and deleted it all. I got real pissed and sat all stoic for a while. So if this sucks it’s because I spent all my energy the first go around. Enjoy! Read the rest of this entry »

Family Circus Would Be Proud

December 29th, 2007

Where the love-wagon has gone so far.

2,281 mi.


Shea Steele is the fucking shit.

December 29th, 2007


We would like to thank Dr. Shea Steele (above, second from the left…and yes…i know i look fucking retarded in this picture) for being a kick ass host and really pulling through for us, and putting the rest of the cities we’ve visited to shame. While New Orleans was like swimming through a sea of drooling lunatics, flailing their arms through the thick haze of drunkenness like flagellum through plasma, and Atlanta was a trip to Grandpa Jared’s house where it was full of babies and fried chicken, Nashville managed to get us drunk and leave us in a dumpster with two less kidneys (in a good way.) It seems like everybody in Nashville is either in a band, or way to cool to even bother with being in a band, and the bars are comfortably divey and not segregated (socially) too much. I got to dance with a overweight 65 year old woman at a honky tonk bar and down can after two-dollar can of PBR while listening to stories of prison, ending up at a 24-hour greasy spoon which had us stumbling into LOCAL HONEY, Shea’s vintage clothing store, around 6 in the morning to crash. She even closed the store the next day to eat lunch with us and allowed us to scare away potential customers. AND she let me shower, which is a huge deal, because i hadn’t showered in a while. All in all, thank you Shea for everything, and you totally affected my view of Nashville in the best way, as it has climbed the charts of potential places that would not induce suicidal tendencies in me if i lived there. So, like, way to go.

We’d also like to thank Matt from The Pink Spiders, for kicking our asses at pool (i mean, the guy busted out a pool cue he had brought from home that looked like a fucking unicorn horn…how were we supposed to compete with that?) and Willie (who has cavorted with the likes of Yoko Ono and Wolf Eyes, and his own defunct band, The Parlour Boys) for telling us stories about being on the road with The Bravery, giving us more of a reason to hate them, and kicking ass at my favorite game of all time: Brackets. (I mean, he did convince everyone at the table that the band RUSH could win over euthanasia.)

Thanks Nashville, I’ll call you, baby.

Goodnight from Nashville…

December 27th, 2007

5am, from a random thrift store at where we’re passing out on a couch, goodnight all.



December 26th, 2007

So last you heard we were dying in traffic or something. Since then we’ve kissed some babies, kicked around Atlanta a bit, driven through bumblefuck Alabama, and tore through the bayou, or around it, whatever highways do. And now we just left New Orleans, which frankly, i found a bit of a let down. I mean, it had this Vegas: get so fucked up and drool like some idiot baby vibe, which i guess has never been my bag. The mentality seems to be “how can i make an even bigger ass out of myself than i do every day?” Which leads to the retarded cavorting of thirty five-year-olds leapfrogging down bourbon street. But all in all New Orleans, architecturally is a beautiful place. And we got to see some awesome ragtime stomp that sounded pumped out of a time machine. But you know what was a huge let down? Nobody spoke like Remy LeBeau. For those of you who don’t know that is…here’s a picture:

Anyway. I could turn that into a whole rant but my heart isn’t in it. We’re on route to Nashville right now, not sure what the fuck we’re gonna do there…but probably a whole lot more than the last two nights (tip: cities kinda blow on Xmas eve and Xmas day). Fuck this. i have nothing to say.

Fun with levees

December 26th, 2007

We’re currently on the road in Mississippi, en route to Nashville. Even though I was against it before the trip, the bros convinced me that we ought to go New Orleans. And go to New Orleans we did. We even made it to the levees. (Yes that is a levee in the following picture).

Then look who I came upon at this… pumping station?

They walked like robots!

Bye for now!

This post dedicated to Ilsa

December 24th, 2007

We spent yesterday afternoon walking around Decatur, Atlanta, with Ethan’s brother Jared, sister-in-law Heather and baby niece Ilsa. My god, Ilsa was cute. We went to CVS where we showered her with gifts.

That was when we realized that what this trip needed was a baby.

But where will we find a baby to push in a stroller through the American south? The Feuer household? Craigslist? Perhaps this question is the true challenge of our roadtrip.

Or perhaps we are getting a decade ahead of ourselves. As one member of roadtrips past commented, we have already gone from recklessness in the West 18 months ago to pushing around babies in the South today. Maybe that is enough change for 1 and a half years. We sure wouldn’t want to crimp our style in our next stop, New Orleans.

Cough, Prologue!

December 22nd, 2007

(So Jesse forgot to explain what trip we are exactly, on, though his observations on 95 is quite accurate…thus, a very very very quick explanation!)

So on this roadtrip we are attempting to explore the South, stopping in random towns, playing in church playgrounds and running around the big cities!

Itinerary. Dec 21st to December 30th.

Googlepus. (thats a joke from Jesse?)
Return on the 30th. Then onwards to NYC for new years, if we’re still healthy!

But yes, the roads here are absurd. They change name at least once every 5 miles and the amount of huge 30 foot crosses/american flags we see randomly next to billboards continue to increase exponentially.

I think we aren’t lost, not sure…but at least we are blasting Crystal Method and being nostalgic.

Back to Jesse’s post. Hurrah!

Fuck you, Interstate 95

December 22nd, 2007

We’ve been had. The holiday roads are greedy sons of bitches, filling their bellies with as many hunks of gas, metal, rubber, and flesh. Traffic bleeding into the vanishing point along the horizon and our plans put through the shredder.Trying to make it from Silver Springs, Marlyand to Asheville, North Carolina in seven hours has became as impossible as enjoying sex while listening to Neil Diamond. The possibility and endless permuatations that spawn from a saturday night in the hippy haven of the east coast; the opportunity to prey on the kindness of their hearts for a night of carefree, barefoot love was set aflame by the inadequecies of america’s roadways and the commercial success of Christmas. So now, to avoid further road complications tomorrow and to score free lodging courtesy of Jared Feuer, we (Sacarny, Ethan and I) trek on through the night and the early morning, and with only six hours to go, we are bloodthirsty hellhounds and we’ve picked up a scent, and that scent is Atlanta.

Also, much love to Momma Patton, Coach, Itzel, and her mystery baby, for letting us crash at their place and compose the most symphonic breakfast and stimulating conversations and letting us dismember their cat and bury it in the backyard. One of those events did not actually transpire.

Music: My Latest Novel, Phil Collins, Blind Willie McTell, Jackson 5, The Monkees
Books: Frank Miller’s “The Dark Knight Returns”, Raymond Chandler’s “The Big Sleep”

Yr gonna have to wait for pictures because instant gratification spoils all.
(To come: Nashville, Louisville, insane anti-darwinian nazis, pterodactyl copulation, Birmingham lynch mobs? and the steel mills of Pittsburgh…stay tuned.)